If your mind is anything like mine, then it is filled with images of a scantily clad Keira Knightly waking you up from a long nights rest and telling you that the Oakland Raiders have just won the Super Bowl. Indeed, and if your mind is anything like mine, it is constantly thinking of stupid ideas for television shows. For example, on a recent occasion, I was playing a (not-so)-friendly game of EA's MVP Baseball 2004 and I dreamed up an idea that might actually work. It goes something like this:
The show will be entitled, "Shit Talkers" (I'm already limiting myself to extended-cable television formats, but I think the use of obscenity here serves a purpose I will endeavor to explain later). The premise of "Shit Talkers" is a simple one. A camera crew enters a new (and different) home each day, and films two people playing a sporting-type video against each other. A typical football, baseball, basketball, hockey, soccer game lasts around thirty minutes "real life" time, with five minute quarters or periods or whatever time separator is appropriate for the game. A single camera can be used, and be placed directly behind the two participants' heads, with its main attention focusing on the TV. Later, three cameras can be used, with two cameras placed constantly on the participants' faces and the one game-play camera described above. No editing will be needed, as the entire show will just be watching the game in which the two competitors are engrossed.
Now if this doesn't sound interesting, either :
1) You haven't played a competitive sports video game.
2) You've never seen two people play a competitive sports video game.
The drama and emotion involved in a simple game of Madden 2004 between two friends who play the game at least two (2) hours a day is startling. If you have ever thrown a $25 Playstation2 controller on the wall and watch it shatter into fifty (50) little pieces of semi-conductor and plastic, you know exactly what I'm speaking about.
Case in point, last week, I was over at a friend's apartment playing a game of EA's new baseball title, MVP Baseball 2004. The teams were the Anaheim Angels (Mike) versus the Boston Red Sox (Me). Bartolo "Fat Ass" Colono versus Pedro "Head-Case" Martinez. As expected, the game was insanely close. A solo jacker by Nomar in the top of the fifth was answered by a solo jacker from Garrett Anderson in the bottom of the fifth. The funny thing about the GA shot was that I was pitching him low and away the entire at-bat and Mike ran the count to 2-2 after talking the third straight Pedro change-up in the dirt away. I commented to Mike before the pitch that historically GA was not a good low-and-in hitter, very much the opposite of his teammate from Vlad (in a vain attempt to Double Bluff him into thinking that I would come back with another Pedro change away). Much to my dismay however, Mike saw through the Double Bluff, and proceeded to deposit the high-and-tight Pedro fastball over the 18-foot scoreboard in the right field of Angel Stadium. A snicker from Mike ended any further shit talking on my end for the rest of the inning.
By the 9th inning, the game was still tied 1-1 and now an audience of three (3) arrived at Mike's apartment. Several members of the newly arrived group took small action with each other on who would eventually win the game. Every pitch after their arrival was a subject of high fives or random derogatory comment. The game did not disappoint the newcomers, as it went fourteen (14) intense innings deep. A 3-2 Scott Shield's curveball picked up too much of the plate, and a three-run homerun by none other than Boston villain NOMAR ended the game in much fanfare. If there were a camera there, that game would have gone straight to the Video Game Instant Classics channel. But I digress.
Getting back to the technical aspects of the show, before "Shit Talkers" would film you and your friend play, special screeners would watch you play a sample game first to make sure that:
a) You can actually play the game in question. If you still ask, "Which button is Turbo," and the like, you are probably not good enough to make the game interesting to watch.
b) Not only is the game between the two friends competitive, but are the two players in question interesting enough to make the TV compelling. If the two competitors aren't interested, why should we be? E.g. if the players just sit there and not say a word after Ty Law intercepts a Payton Manning Meatball Special, what fun is that?
This is the real appeal of "Shit Talkers," not just the game aspect, which is fun to watch, but the interaction between the two opposing parties. Touchdown
celebration dances, home-run trots, top-shelf slap shot celebrations, and alley-oop chest thumpings, are all apart of making video games unique and fun to watch. The more animated you are, the better shot you have at making the show.
Another fascinating aspect of the show would be that "Shit Talkers" would not provide the participants of the show with any television or console game equipment. Each day, across the country, a new home will be visited and the taping of a half hour show will occur. There can be a show filmed in a two-bedroom house in the swampy backwoods of Jacksonville, followed by a show played at T.O.'s palatial estate in upscale Atlanta. Each living room or bedroom or family room or garage has a distinctive feel. A particularly wealthy gamer may have a leather couch with and Xbox and a 52" Plasma TV. A less-endowed gamer may have just a floor and a PlayStation attached to a modest 20" Samsung TV. The show could even have themed weeks, such as "Old School" week, in which the participants are playing Madden '95 for the Super Nintendo, or Tecmo Bowl, with an uber-beastly Bo Jackson.
Why a show like this wouldn't be picked up on an obscure TV station like Tech TV is beyond me. The initial overhead cost would be very minimal (a camera), and its chance for success would be very great. An idea like this could skyrocket the late-night ratings of a sports channel like ESPN2 easily. Does anyone really watch the 1997 Women's Trick Shot Open?
It might be just another stupid idea for a television show, but I can really see this working. Can you?
