Archeologists discovered a party platform dated 1773 from the "Progressive Left Party," which many historians believe was the predecessor of the Democratic Party, founded later in the 19th century. It was a group opposed to the Revolutionary War, solidly supportive of King George's ability to provide for the colonies, and against the economic interests that they believed were causing revolution. Below is an excerpt from the party platform recently discovered:
"Fellow Colonists,
"Regarding War, give peace a Chance! We shall not support War for selfish Greed. It is the Rich who are complaining about these Taxes and Expenses. Going to War for Taxes is possibly the worst Idea ever, even worse than going for Oil, which is a Substance that we will rabidly oppose upon its Discovery in the next Century.
"Regarding Taxes and other Tariffs, we support the King in his Rollback of these irresponsible Tax Cuts the Colonies have given themselves. No more tax Evasion for the Rich! The colonists need to pay their Fair Share. They have a Legitimate Duty to pay the Crown. After all, were it not for the Crown, they would never be able to make all of that Money. They need to give back, and self-imposed Tax Cuts are not the Answer.
"Regarding general Lawmaking, The Crown has the Authority to make Laws that govern the Colonies. The Colonies have neither the Ability nor Genius of the King, and should obey the Laws passed down. The Crown is a lot like a Federal Government, which is a Concept upon which we will heap Adoration in the next Century.
"Regarding Representation, to put forth the preposterous Idea that Colonies deserve Representation is wrong. The Crown can take Care of the Colonies, and any Attempt to thwart this Process is partisan Subterfuge to forward the selfish Desires of the Colonies.
"Regarding the Quartering of Soldiers, the Crown has a Right to take all actions Necessary to protect the People. The Soldiers need to be inside Homes in case there are Children needing to be Returned to Cuba, or if Compounds need Inspecting for Weaponry.
"Regarding Trade, the Revolutionaries complain that the Crown has prevented them from Trade. This is true, and is Acceptable because Trade can bring Problems. We prefer the Crown controlling Trade than having it be controlled by Business Interests that will destroy the Earth.
"Regarding Militias, we support the full Disarmament of the Militias intent on bringing Revolution. These people should realize that they do not have the Right to carry around dangerous Muskets and Rifles. It could cause the Death of our precious Children.
"Regarding Inalienable Rights, they do not exist. They are Relative, depending on economic Circumstances. There should be no Talk of these things until Poverty is eliminated. There is no Freedom without Welfare.
"We shall oppose any Discussion of Revolution. Even if we were to support War, we would require a Consensus of international Opinion before making brash Decisions.
"Adopted in the Year of our Lord One Thousand Seven Hundred and Seventy-Three."
- Publius
The above work is not necessarily the opinion of The Prometheus Institute.
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