Hey Kids, Want to Play Politics? The puerile absurdities of college activism Anonymous PI contributor
Anyone who has attended college or at least walked around on any college campus has likely been subjected to a bombardment of posted flyers, advertising everything from computer technical support to university housing. Their prevalance tends to vary according to each school, of course. Mine happens to be relatively clean compared to some University of California and community college campuses I have visited, which look like battle-torn metropolitan drop zones for World War II-era propaganda. I’m not kidding; they look like they’ve been carpet-bombed from the sky with ads for second year calculus books and solicitations for French Club membership by a squadron of B-17s.
On my daily stroll through my university’s plaza, however, two advertisements in particular caught my eye: The Young Democrats Club and The Young Republicans Club. What could possibly be interesting about a flyer attempting to convince me to join a group of college kids playing politics? Answer: The utter brilliance with which they were crafted by some of my fellow students. (Conveying sarcasm with the written word can be difficult sometimes, but yes, I am being sarcastic.) In fact, I’m publishing this anonymously because I’m embarrassed that I even go to the same school as these people.
The Young Democrats platform for recruitment was actually quite simple. It read, “Do you hate this man?” Accompanied by an unflattering picture of…Yes, you guessed it. None other than the beloved 43rd President of The United States.
I can see it now, some uninformed freshman coed taking the very same stroll I did, looking around in a similar fashion before resting her eyes on the very same flyer. The light bulb goes on. Like, oh my God! I totally hate George Bush too! He like, lied and stuff. I should join the Young Democrats Club so that I can better express my meaningful political views.
I’m not just picking on girls either. This could very well be an equally incompetent male, but his version would go something like this. Dude, Michael Moore was right. Saddam didn’t even have any nukes of massive total annihilation or whatever. Finally I’ve found a place with like-minded individuals where I can get involved. Never mind that a more appropriate name for their club would be the “We Disagree With Everything The Republicans Say Because We Have No Real Platform of Our Own Club”
At first glance the Young Republicans recruitment ad looked far more promising. Included were photos of students from all sorts of different ethnic backgrounds, hanging out, smiling, and generally looking like they’re having a good time. (We’re talking about some serious Grade-A B.S. here, considering the private university I attend is predominantly white.) Good for them for being politically correct. But unfortunately they had to ruin it by including the headline, “Join the Revolution”. Yeah that sounds pretty cool, but what is your idea of a “revolution” when your party controls the presidency, the House and the Senate? That’s not so politically correct, or intelligent for that matter.
The scary part about all of this of course, is that some of these individuals may actually aspire to political office, and with the right connections one can do just about anything. I can only hope that students who would be fooled by such nonsense are too apathetic to get involved anyway. Then again, it’s always beneficial to have powerful alumni connections - even if they are politically retarded.
