It's inexplainable, really. She rescues you. Your heart is
resurrected as everything else becomes strangely secondary. It's
certainly not a responsible way to live; your other friends, duties,
responsibilities and interests become distant echoes out on these
uncharted waters. Yes, you are in love.
You suddenly stop and wonder when your life took on this new meaning.
Just think about it. Time now exists simply to plot the intervals
between seeing her. Desultory events absorb new profound meanings and
signs that serve as incontrovertible evidence that indeed, she is the
most amazing person you've ever met. Amazing is too weak of a word,
perhaps, to verbally reify the way she changes your world.
Sleep is an obstacle; its depravation now becomes alluring when it
allows you even one more beautiful thought of her. Your heart becomes
your new employer, instructing you to rehearse, ad nauseam, that first
sentence you will utter when you see her again. Yes, speech is
everything. You run it over in your head, and yet it comes out wrong.
You then shoot a prayer to the God who blessed you with proximity to
this angel, pleading that He will not let her lose interest due to
your undeniably pathetic speech.
Every second is an eternity, and every syllable of speech becomes
paramount. What to do when you are trying to impress a girl who holds
the string that is tying your head in the clouds?
Oh, she has you, certainly. You are running sensitivity analyses in
your mind every minute. What if she says...? You try desperately to
plan. You know that at the same time that this girl has suspended
your ability to think rationally, the fate of your heart is reliant
upon victory in this emotional chess game.
You read into everything. When she touched me, was it intentional?
You convince yourself so. You are frozen into inertia at the same
time that you silently plead for more signs. Wouldn't it be great if
you could just tell her these things?
Forget hyperbole, you know you lived without her. And yet, seeing
her, you can't live without her. Perhaps it is ignorance. Yes, you
one time lived in splendid isolation. Was it happy? Maybe, but
certainly not as happy as I feel now that I am in love with a girl who
puts a face to the concept of a beauty and a personality to the
concept of perfection.
Ecstasy has no greater example than this. She has you. And God, is
it beautiful.
This is what girls do to us. So why would they waste their time with
guys who can't see them in the angelic light that now floods our world?
