No, we're not heartless bastards.
More than that, you don't have the monopoly on compassion.
The ironic thing is that we actually have the empirical data, factual evidence and argumentative cogency to prove that you socialists, the masquerading philanthropists, are the worst thing to happen to the poor since the advent of the famine.
We want a smooth distribution of wealth. It so happens that this distribution is smoothest in societies exercising free market ideals. Don't believe us? Look at Africa. They have a lot of socialism; they have a lot of government power. What they lack is only free markets and economic growth. Why? They're both a package deal.
Show me a country that has risen to economic prominence without capitalism. Then you tell me you want to turn the poor countries into rich ones. Well, how do you think the rich ones got there? It certainly wasn't through international aid.
You call technology the enemy while it refrigerates our food, protects us from the elements, saves lives, lights rooms, cooks food,. What lasting benefit has socialism given a people? Cite your regulations. They're wonderful until technology renders them obsolete.
Capitalistic innovations are for lasting benefit. Where's the bureaucratic equivalent of Gutenberg's printing press? Where is the regulation that assisted progression as much as the assembly line? Labor regulations in the coal mines were fantastic until capitalism put the workers in cubicles. Where do you think the upward mobility came from? The laws, or the technology?
Your economic policy consists of helping the poor enjoy commodious poverty. Ours consists of helping the poor achieve commodious wealth. You try to protect against the ills - we encourage the transcendence of them. Why accept your short-sighted goals when we can hold society to a higher standard? We'd rather encourage success than soften the impact of failure.
Even your most hallowed arguments are nothing but base sophistries. You express ad nauseum the extent to which corporations have polluted clean water and thus denied the people a natural resource. However, have you ever considered that if it weren't for these corporations storing, processing and delivering this water to individuals that societies would still be gathered around lakes and rivers, unable to expand more than a few miles beyond its source of hydration?
Sure, make the argument that the supposedly populist legislation over time has protected some lives. Pat yourself on the back, and then face the reality that not a single regulation could have brought society out of the dire economic circumstances in which it found itself.
Regulation only allows everyone to live in blissful ignorance for a while - capitalism eventually has to come along and resurrect the society from its economic doldrums.
You can point to examples where socialism works relatively well, assuming that free markets are maintained to a certain degree. However, you can never point to an example where socialism works even slightly well on its own. You can go ahead and ride on our coattails, but don't try to take the credit for the successes.
What is redistribution if not the transfer of funds created through capitalism? What is labor regulation if not the application of requirements for employment under a free market system?
Capitalism brought the working class from farms to mines to factories to assembly lines to air-conditioned offices. Socialism gave them some cushy benefits from time to time, but those lasted about as long as the economic stagnation did. Check out human history, and see who is the long-term philanthropist - Adam Smith or Karl Marx.
Why do socialist states run over students with tanks while capitalist states boast the world's most lucrative job market? You call it coincidence; we prove it as intrinsic and natural artifacts of socialism and free-markets.
No, we don't want to starve anyone. We declare battles against the same social ills of poverty, violence, recessions and war. We both want a smooth distribution of wealth and few who are not self-sufficient. We're on the same side - the side of the people. Now if you'd just get the hell out of the way, we'd be much closer to our goal.
We want to save Africa, we want to liberate people from their poverty, we want to discover the world's greatest innovations, we want to protect the American dream, we want legal equality, we want an assertive citizenry, yet our proposals actually achieve this goal.
You feign support of the individual. You're all about independence until it means economic independence; all about choice until it means an option out of nationalization; all about free speech until it offends an inviolable group; all about wealth until someone gets too much of it; all about privacy until we're talking about property rights; all about liberty until someone uses it better than someone else. You are no friend of the individual. You're simply frauds and you'll be proven as such.
We have little interest in listening to you cavil about which corporation slashed which benefits for workers. We're much more interested in which economic system gave which standard of living to humanity.
Save your lachrymal indictments for social reform; leave the political reform to the experts.
If economic policy were a boxing match, capitalism would be the undisputed champion.
We expect you to maintain your supporters. Socialism's failure is society's greatest paradox. How is it taking money and giving money to the poor doesn't make the poor better off? How is it price controls make things worse for consumers? How is that the minimum wage is bad for workers? Gee, I don't get it!
We have a naturally uphill battle. However, for the sake of society, we will win it.
From this day forward, your unjust monopoly on compassion will crumble.
We know your vision. Here's ours. Government monopolies are privatized to spur innovation to benefit all of society through technological progress. The minimum wage is abolished and no one ever lacks a job, from young people who can work for less to gain valuable skills for future employment to poor people who always have choices of employment. Businesses are deregulated so small, independent businesses have the free capital to take on the huge corporations.
Go ahead and bask in the theoretical. Develop your economic Gedanken while we build upon centuries of unparalleled growth. Grasp the rosary of statism in your sweaty palms while we watch economic miracles benevolently bless free markets around the world. Don't worry, we won't stop you from imagining no possessions. However, the degree to which we are successful in stopping you from translating those hallucinations into public policy is the degree to which society will prosper and has prospered ever since the Industrial Revolution.
The legality of behavior doesn't legitimize behavior, so societies work together to alleviate social ills rather than transferring them to a third party.
We care for the poor so greatly that we are willing to stand up, risk unpopularity, and free them from your cultish indoctrination.
Even the indivisible elements of socialism require capitalism. Capitalism flourishes naturally - no government interference is required. However, even the most socially democratic proposals are reliant upon the existence of a solvent economic society. In essence, we don't need you - but you need us.
We don't doubt that your hearts bleed profusely. We don't argue that you don't want to help the indigents. We can just prove that you haven't.
While we intellectually battle, give us the same respect.
